My name is Christopher Ray Lathrop. And this is my Auto biography. I was born
at Saint Peters Hospital right here in Olympia WA. Where my other two brothers Jarred
15, and Ryley 20 months, were born as well.
I traveled to Michigan with my family, when I was around seven or six. Where my
Aunt lives with her six kids and a small Korean family. I remember my mother gave my
brother and I ,what she refereed too as a Care Package, Right before the trip. It was
filled with weapons, nipple clamps, blow up dolls, bulling pins and other inatimate objects.
What a trip; four days on the road with my brother and parents. Stopping at places like
the worlds largest ball Of string. We ended up going to the air port where my mom sent
me too India. Where I lived with a Monk monastery. While I was there, I was beaten
repeatedly with tree limbs. The only toys I had to play with were the contents of the care
package. I also received for some monk holiday a pet snow monkey. But brother Haanz
stole him from me; for his own entertainment.(If you know what I mean?)
Anyway; a few years later when I became a shambala monk. (many degrees above
a standard monk.) I ran away to America and joined circus Vargus as the head clown.
When the Circus came too my hometown of Olympia My mother witnessed my
performance, and decided too let me move back home. Living at home was worse than I
had hoped. I decided to venture, as I called it; on a long and hopefully successful quest to
find an answer to one of mans most pondered questions. "If a cow laughs, does milk
come out of his nose?" So I took what was left of the care package, most of it though,
was broken during my stay in the Turkish prison. That's a whole different story though.
Well anyway; I took what was left of the care package, and left.
Then at the age of fourteen I moved to Cat-mon-du-Abudabi-allowishis-debris
90210. and out of pure coincidence, became a porno star. Then I built my own nudist
colony. Which unfortunately became impregnated by four Dutch scientists with a golden
retriever. So I was forced by sixteen Jewish scientists with a Great Dane to have an
abortion. They claimed it to be immoral or something along those lines. My memory is a
bit hazy, when It comes to those times. After the abortion I moved to New York, and
began raising venomous hamsters. I was bitten 420,007,211,187 times in the buttox.
Which didn't help the large cell growth in that area; being that it had already produced a
rash there anyways. So I joined the marines and fought in the Veit Nam war 42 regiment.
I was a mechanical engineer and after years of study I developed a high intensity
materializing lazer death ray beam gun. they did not put the weapon into use though.
There was a glitch in it. You see, it took fourteen pounds of crack, in order for it to
produce enough energy for the flux capacitor. without it the lazer was unable too reach
eighty eight miles per hour. So after the war I was shipped back home where I was forced
to go to detoxification classes. After I was discharged from rehab I went and inrolled for
a class called secondary options. After I was signed up and officially in the class I started
my plans to take over the entire world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!