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Human desire to fit in

Human Desire to Fit In

Two common ways of handling a situation are either to do so

according to one¹s own personal needs and desires with no

specific regard to other people, or one can base a decision on

how it will be viewed by others. The vast majority of people

fall on the side of being worried about what others are saying

and thinking. Both good and bad can come from living this way,

but it has seemed to remain constant throughout history. People

have a natural desire to belong, and to fit in with a certain

group. No matter what group an individual chooses, that

individual almost always is forced sacrifice a part of

them self in order to seem more a part of things. People in this

world seem to need companionship and are often too weak to stand

alone. As a result, they stand together in what ever group they

are best suited to.

It is a point of interest to many of the people who have stopped

to think about this fact. The idea that people live according to

how others will perceive then has been established as the rule,

not the exception. The real question now lies in the reasons for

this way of life. It was hypothesized by C.S. Lewis that this

desire to belong and to fit in is a natural human characteristic.

He believed that people have an instinctive drive to belong, in

the same sort of way species reproduce. It is possible that his

theory of instinctive necessity is accurate, and humans are as a

whole are week and scared when they are faced with solitude.

The old adage ³there is safety in numbers² is appropriate in

this topic. Often in this world terrible things happen because

people group up and commit unspeakable acts, then take shelter in

the numbers of those involved. The Annual Freaknik ³celebration²

is the perfect example. Thousands of individuals crowd the

streets of Atlanta and pillage the city for a weekend, all the

while they show no respect for the laws or the residents of the

city. This can be directly related to the issue of people doing

things to be a part of the group. If these people were asked

individually why they did these terrible things, for the most

part they would respond by saying ³everyone else is doing it²².

This could be translated to ³I am just trying to be a part of

things². In this particular example those involved sacrifice

any sense of morals or upbringing that they might have had.

"Everybody is doing it". This sentence has ruined thousands of

lives. It could could be the worst four word combination in the

English language. People have been convinced to begin drug use,

drunk driving, cliff jumping, and countless other unwise

activities. The reason behind this is clear, the human necessity

to fit in and to seem cool is often to strong to compete with. A

person could have the world and all of its riches, but with out

someone to share it with, that person would be totally alone.

People need each other. This is a fact of the world, and it will

never change. This need is a natural desire that is found every

where in every person with very few exceptions. It is true that

trouble can brew and awful things can happen because of these

groups, but the advantages associated far out weigh the costs.

These groups that people form between themselves often serve as

shelter for the lonely, for this reason it is natural for

people to go far out their way if necessary to belong a

particular crowd. As a result the opinion of others is

crucial part of life.

Source: Essay UK -

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