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Men and women

Men And Women

What influences a person’s identity?  Is it their homes, parents, religion, or maybe
where they live?  When do they get one?  Do they get it when they understand right from
wrong, or when they can read, or are they born with it?  Everyone has one and nobody has
the same, is there a point in everyone’s life when they get one?    A person’s identity is his
own, nobody put it there and nobody can take it out.  Everyone in this world has a
different identity because they all make their own over the course of their life.  A person’s
identity also causes a person to have masculine and feminine traits.  There is no one thing
that gives a person their identity, there are however many different factors that contribute
to one’s identity.
What is someone’s identity?  Is it the way they look, the way they dress, or it
could be  many things all put together, or is it none of the above?  To me someone’s
identity is a part of their being. Nobody will ever hold it, touch it, or even see it, but it is
there.  Everybody has one, it guilds your decision making, your thoughts, ideas, and
dreams.  You may think something is terrible while someone else does not even care and
yet another person may laugh, why?  The answer is simple, everyone has his own identity
and personality.  Everyone feels, acts, thinks, and dreams differently.  People may have
some of these things in common with one another, but they will not be totally the same, it
is like a fingerprint, unique. 
There are many origins to a person’s identity, their family, friends, home life,
religion, environment and others.  But how does it get there, you do not go into a store
and pick on off the shelf.  A person’s identity is developed over many years and put
together by the person themselves.  It comes from the individuals ability to think, reason
and form an opinion.  Nobody has the same mind, or the same or the same conscious, so
how could anyone have the same identity as another.  A person’s identity is developed
over many years from the time they become aware of their surroundings, to the time they
decide if they are going to college, and even as they grow old there identity will change
with them.  As people’s dreams are dreamed and goals are accomplished their identities
will change with the individual.  Their aspirations and values will change,  causing their
identities to change with it. It may be a slight alteration or a major overhaul but there
identity will adjust to the person. 
One of the factors of forming an identity will obviously be your family.  One’s
family if invaluable to them.  Your family may not be your biological parents or ever a
blood relative at all, but nobody in this world can live from birth without some one.  But
no matter who it is, they will be the people who take care of you when you are sick or aid
you when you need help.  These people will be there with you for a long time and yes they
will have a major impact on what you turn out to be it the future. A lot off people are
fortunate enough to live with a mother and a father, they may ever have some brothers and
sisters to play with as they grow up.  But ever with the same family influences, brothers
and sisters still do not have the same identities  Some may even say having a "traditional"
family would be bad for the development of an identity.  For example, what kind identity
would a young girl develop if see repeatedly saw her father beat on her mother.  She
would probably not feel the same as another girl whose father always showed love and
caring for her mother.  What about a teenager who used drugs as often as he changed his
underwear. Would his younger brother, in looking up to him, feel the same as another boy
who grew up never seeing an illegal drug before.  If family members have no regard for
keeping the other members of the family on the right path to being a good person, then
what will they become.  A large part of how someone turns out is due to the family. A
good , solid, caring family may give rise to a kinder, gentler person than a family that does
not care whether the children get into trouble.  Kids grow up seeing their parents and how
they act, or not seeing their parents at all. Proper parenting will lead to better identities in
there children. 
Gender is a major cause for a person’s identity.  A person might act a certain way
because of the gender that is given to them.  It is often referred that a person might act a
certain way because it is in their nature.  A person’s nature is a major reason that causes a
persons identity.  A person might be mentally sick and just go crazy on people.  This is
part of the person’s nature, he is going to do what his nature compels him  to.  A person’s
nature might also influence a person to act like a man or a woman.  A man might be a man
but have feminine traits.  This is the nature of his mind.  Nature and identity also
characterize how the person acts.  The nature of someone might make someone act
stronger in their own sex.  Identity can be seen in even the youngest of children as soon a
a child is ready to make their own decision, no matter how trivial the decision might be,
the child is starting to create his or her own identity and define their own nature.  This
nature can be seen in children too.  One child’s nature might make a little girl act like a
boy,  also called a tomboy.  This means that the girl just like to play with boys and do
‘boy’ things.  While another girl, with a different mentality, might play with Barbie dolls
and dress in a pink dress. 
Nature and identity might make a woman act the way that she does.  In the stories
The Astronomers Wife by Kate Boyle and A Respectable Woman by Kate Chopin the
woman are defiantly feminine.  Maybe they are too feminine for their husbands who
seemingly cannot satisfy their women fully.  If the husbands were doing their ‘job’ in the
women would not be cheating on them.  The husbands seemingly cannot satisfy their
women fully or they wouldn’t be interested in others.  Either the women needs mental
satisfaction or physical satisfaction.  Another reason a woman would cheat on her husband
is it might be part of her identity, a part of who she is.  In this case there probably is no
chance that she will not cheat on her husband.  A person’s nature might cause a person to
want and need things that they already have.  Why else would a man, who has a faithful
wife for years, cheat on her wife someone whom he probably barely knows. 
Siblings grow up together, they play together, and they have fun together.  But
eventually they will get there own friends and make there own decisions, this also leads to
a person’s identity.  Not all people like all the same things or people.  Joe may be friends
with Larry, and Larry may like Bob, but Joe may not like Bob.  There is no reason to  hate
each other, they just do not mix.  Friends also play a part in a person’s developing an
identity, they are also a good indicator of one’s identity.  Whether you hang around wall
street all day or you work on your farm all day, may tell a little about your identity. 
Neither is better than the other but they probably have different interests and likes. That
does not mean they can not be friends and get along, they  will just be different.
A person’s religion can also play a big role in one’s identity.  People who grow up
belonging to a religion would be a lot more likely to continue on with it when they grow
older than someone who never believed in one, to start.  Religion can have a rather large
effect on a person forming an identity.  If a person learns to treat others with respect and
kindness as they were young, they may keep it with them as they turn into adults.  On the
other hand a religion could have negative effects on a person’s identity.  For instance,
belonging to a cult that believes in sacrificing animals or even humans would not give a
person a very nice identity.   Especially when compared to a person who grew up as a
practicing Roman Catholic.  A person’s beliefs can easily lead a person into making a
decision, especially regarding ethics or kindness.  The person growing up not caring about
anything but themselves could easily make  a different choice than a person that was
taught to be respectful to other people.  However this is not always the case,  religion can
only work if the person decides to follow it and adhere to it.  A person who goes to
church every Sunday with their parents and does not care about it will probably not have a
large religious effect on their identity, it may even cause the person to think "who needs 
religion, it is useless."  A person’s identity is his own, they make it and develop it however
they choose to.  Religion may play a part, or not, it may be bad or good, but the individual
has the final say.
Your environment does not just mean your outside surroundings, this also refers to
your home.  People live en all kinds of homes and I do not mean a ranch or a cabin.  Your
home life is also your environment.  Is it clean and neat or is it bug infested and dirty. 
Kids growing up in all kinds of homes will form different identities. Will they be "neat
freaks" or will they not care how they live in their houses.  It is a shame to see people
living in filthy, run down places.  The kids who come out of neat, clean homes would
probably be different in how they look at dirt and grime.  Do they care or not? 
Men and women are different because of society has set them up with.  It is
observed for men to be strong and women to be weak.  Also it is in the mentality of the
person who is making the comparison to choose how a woman or man is supposed to
think.  For example one man might think women should be in the house all day making
food, cleaning, and making babies.  On the other hand another man might like to stay
home and take care of the kids and the house while the wife works.  In today’s society
they are both acceptable but the second choice is becoming an ever more popular choice. 
Another mentality that a man might have is that all women are ‘sluts’ and ‘bitches’.  If this
mode of thought is used then the person probably has very little respect for a woman. 
Many rap stars have this mentality about woman.  "Bitches ain’t sh*t but hoes and
tricks..."  (Dr. Dre).  This is a line from Dr. Dre’s album The Chronic.  The is the type of
thinking that might lead someone to think that all women cheat on their husbands.  In the
story The Astronomer’s Wife by Kate Boyle, the husband was asleep probably had no idea
that his wife was about to cheat on him with the plumber it probably never even crossed
his mind.  Also in A Respectable Woman by Kate Chopin, the wife tries to be honest and
true but she has a lot of feeling for a man whom she does not really know.  The husband
trusts his wife greatly he wants her to be friends with his friend, but the wife has
something different in mind.  She wants the man sexually.  The husband has no idea of her
intentions.    There are many reasons that make men and women act the way they do.  It
could be a number of possibilities but mostly is the way they were raised.
However with all these factors related to forming an identity the most important
and most influential is the person themselves.  We see people every day, some whom we
want to be like and some we hope we never turn out like.  With all the other outside
factors to guide and help or push and hamper, the individual has the last say.  You are the
only on who says what you want to be like over the course of your life.  Nobody will ever
get inside your mind and do the thinking for you.  Nobody can influence you, you may feel
as if you are being forced to do something but you do not have to do anything.  You make
the final decision.  However you act, think, and speak is totally up to you.
People grow up all coming from all different kinds of places, backgrounds and
families.  They will all have different identities.  Gender affects the decisions made by
people.  Their identity and the ‘nature’ of the person makes them act the way they do. 
Nobody is the same and nobody will ever be.  All the outside influences will have an effect
on their identities but the individual has the last word on it. Nobody is the same because
each person will form his own identity to what ever they want to be like.

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