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Secret addiction

Secret Addiction

Addictions are present in almost all of us. Whether it's a chemical dependence, or simply talking on the phone, they can start to control your life before you can even realize what is happening. Just a couple of years ago, I had a problem peeling myself away from a certain activity. As odd as it may sound, my own computer dominated my life.

I remember the situation quite clearly. In the typical day, I would return home from school at around 3:00 or so. You see, most kids would set their backpack down in their bedroom, head to the kitchen and grab a snack. On the other hand, I was different.

The second I walked through the door, I would immediately throw my backpack on the floor, quickly open the refrigerator and grab whatever food item was in sight, and would then proceed to dart up the stairs to the computer chair.

Upon start-up of the computer, a warm and pleasant feeling would vibrate through my entire body, straight down my spine. It almost felt as if I was in some sort of heaven. Every keystroke of the keyboard sent a refreshing burst of pleasure in each of my finger tips. The glowing monitor emitted delightful rays that pleased and calmed my eyes. Oh yes, it was great to be home.

Of course, this does not even compare to the long and never-ending hours I would spend on this machine. Although my bedtime was supposed to be around 10 or 11 in the evening, I would manage to stay up on this computer until sometimes as late as 3 in the morning, and this was on school nights as well.

I never really realized how serious this was, until one day my best friend Trevor called me up on the phone. He told me about a hot new movie that was out, and I found myself making an excuse as to why I could not make it. But of course, the real reason was because I had work to do on the computer. However, the only work I had to do was to play that incredible new video game that was just released.

It wasn't until that situation where I finally woke up out of my trance, and discovered something that completely blew me away -- I really did not have a life. Every time I went on the computer after that occurrence, a feeling of guilt swept through my body.

What was it about this machine that forces me to stay on it for so long? After long hours of thought on the matter, I came to a some-what logical conclusion: it has the power to hypnotize me.

After these and other events, I successfully was able to limit myself at the number of hours I was involved in it. I found myself doing more activities with my friends and family, eating a regular diet, and even sleeping. To this day, I am still in disbelief on how many hours I really did spend on that thing, but one thing is for sure, my addiction has vanished.

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